Dear You,

Nicer.

2009-09-12T06:40:00.002+08:00

I am not the nicest person alive.

Hence I have made a new resolution for this new academic year.

I shall try to be nicer and more chatty to everyone. Jangan kuat bebetchy. Betchy-betchy dalam hati sahaja (:

I'll try to be nice to you as well. Benar.

Good night and sweet dreams dearest reader (: I shall talk to you next time with smiles and sunshine because you deserve to be treated well.

Shmuck face.

absolutely nothing.

2009-09-05T22:33:00.002+08:00

Nis lent me this book quite some time ago called 'The Perks of Being A Wallflower' by Peter Chbosky. I started reading it today, and I finished it already.

It was that good.

It's simple yet heavy, and it has kick-ass quotes.

"...And in that moment, I swear we were infinite."
"...And I closed my eyes because I wanted to know nothing but her arms."

...okay, I guess you have to read it to understand it, but hey.

The book also had this really sad poem written by Osoanun Nimuss entitled 'Absolutely Nothing'

Once on a yellow piece of paper with green lines
he wrote a poem
And he called it "Chops"
because that was the name of his dog
And that's what it was all about
And his teacher gave him an A
and a gold star
And his mother hung it on the kitchen door
 and read it to his aunts
   That was the year Father Tracy
 took all the kids to the zoo
And he let them sing on the bus
And his little sister was born
with tiny toenails and no hair
And his mother and father kissed a lot
And the girl around the corner sent him a
Valentine signed with a row of X's
 and he had to ask his father what the X's meant
And his father always tucked him in bed at night
And was always there to do it

Once on a piece of white paper with blue lines
he wrote a poem
And he called it "Autumn"
because that was the name of the season
  And that's what it was all about
 And his teacher gave him an A
 and asked him to write more clearly
  And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door
because of its new paint
And the kids told him
that Father Tracy smoked cigars
And left butts on the pews
And sometimes they would burn holes
That was the year his sister got glasses
with thick lenses and black frames
And the girl around the corner laughed
 when he asked her to go see Santa Claus
And the kids told him why
his mother and father kissed a lot
And his father never tucked him in bed at night
And his father got mad
when he cried for him to do it.

Once on a paper torn from his notebook
he wrote a poem
And he called it "Innocence: A Question"
because that was the question about his girl
And that's what it was all about
And his professor gave him an A
and a strange steady look
And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door
because he never showed her
That was the year that Father Tracy died
And he forgot how the end
of the Apostle's Creed went
And he caught his sister
making out on the back porch
And his mother and father never kissed
or even talked
And the girl around the corner
wore too much makeup
That made him cough when he kissed her
but he kissed her anyway
 because that was the thing to do
And at three a.m. he tucked himself into bed
his father snoring soundly

That's why on the back of a brown paper bag
he tried another poem
And he called it "Absolutely Nothing"
Because that's what it was really all about
And he gave himself an A
 and a slash on each damned wrist
And he hung it on the bathroom door
because this time he didn't think
he could reach the kitchen.

Life lessons.

2009-09-04T23:22:00.002+08:00

Today, I learned that 'coe ngcu' means 'sorry ngacau'.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

shmuck face.

I also learned that I am going to miss my cousins. A LOT. ='(

Final destination is horrifying gila. Kalah orphan, in my opinion. Awesome graphics though =)

DEATH BY CAFFEINE!

and she'll cry herself to sleep tonight.

2009-08-25T23:16:00.002+08:00

Bukan aku eh. I'm happy :D

Quite a lot of things make me happy.
watching House with the sister,
playing board games with the siblings,
joker with the cousins,
family gatherings,
dawn to dusk gaming with the cousin,

and the sweet memory of it all (':

Summer has been great. A real HOORAY season, where every day is a little party, celebrated in the simplest of ways. Like listening to Jay Brannan and Boyce Avenue.

mmmmm BLISS<3

Jay Brannan makes me sleep- it's a compliment, really. He has this uber soothing voice which hypnotises you into deep, peaceful slumber. Listen to his cover of 'zombie'; you'll see how awesome he is.
Boyce Avenue on the other hand, makes me feel like I'm falling in love all over again (with the same guy plang tu HEHEHE :3). Honestly, I prefer their cover songs to their originals, but that doesn't mean they're not good. Because they are.
Banar.
I suwearrrr.
Just listen to their cover of 'yellow'.

So like, Boyce Avenue are having a concert in London on the 28th Sept. Should I go? It's on a Monday night and I have school. Shiet.

Cyanide and happiness.

2009-07-11T19:06:00.001+08:00

I'm still alive. Are you? (:

eon<3

2009-06-03T05:08:00.000+08:00

I sometimes wake up in the middle of the night, feeling ever so lonely,
At times I cry and call out your name but you don’t seem to be near,
Often I try to hug you in my sleep, but I find the bed is empty,
All of which just comes to show how much I miss you, my dear.

and it's only been what, two days?

Headington: a blessing.

2009-05-22T05:10:00.003+08:00

This is Rugged. I can't mention her real name because she's way too cool for you guys. Just look at the way she breaks chopsticks; RUGGED.

Headington: all kinds of love are accepted.

2009-05-22T05:00:00.005+08:00

This is Fazleen. She's a dancing diva. She's in a relationship with a Bruneian snail.

Headington: where everything is appreciated.

2009-05-22T04:59:00.002+08:00

Meet Tiqah. She's Mer's roommate. She has humongous boobies.

Headington: a multi-cultural family.

2009-05-22T04:41:00.004+08:00

This is Merah. She really likes bananas. She's half malay, half monkey.

Headington: fulfill your wildest dreams

2009-05-22T04:32:00.003+08:00

This is Nadia. She's famous as DJ Aidan. She has two loyal fans named bAbY gUrL hOt p1Nk and sYaSyA_285# (pronounced 'syasya underscore two eighty-five hash').

Lolliesss~~~

Headington: everyone's unique.

2009-05-22T04:08:00.002+08:00

This is Ani. She's my closest friend in Headington (other than Aisah who's made of gremlins). She eats eyebrows.

headington; putting individuals first.

2009-05-21T01:41:00.001+08:00

Meet Aisah. She's my roommate. She's made of a hundred million tiny gremlins.

Overdue post

2009-05-18T18:50:00.002+08:00

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHA

I just crack up kalau orang cematu prasan dorang cute/gorgeous.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

eh, kau. stop displaying your boobies in front of my boyfriend. and jangan menggatal arah ia ani. Ia gali kau wah. And aku pun gali kau. I used to think you were nice. masani inda tia.

KALAU NADA CLEAVAGE ATU JANGANTAH DIPAJAL. SAKIT SAJA USULMU.

LUKIS saja, abis cerita.

Hennoyinghennoying

2009-04-14T11:37:00.002+08:00

Rupanya, Tegan and Sara played at Covent Garden, London, last year.

THIS YEAR LAGI PLEASEEEE. MASA AKU ADA DI UKPLEASEEEE.

hennoying.

sugar, spell it out

2009-04-07T21:04:00.002+08:00

It's silly but I'm kind of nervous about going to school tomorrow. Kalau awkward cemana?? What if everyone I knew changed? What if I've changed?

I'm sure I've changed. By how much, I don't know. Sometimes, I just pray that time reverses itself and I'm able to relive the good old days. The good old days referring to being surrounded by people you love the most without having any feelings of insecurity and self-doubt. When all you want in life is a hot guy to fall in love with you and sweep you off your feet. Back then, the definition of a hot guy is one who is blonde and balah tangah. Macam aaron carter. Dulu aku mau kawin sama aaron carter pasal ia hensem amat and rambutnya blonde and balah tangah. DAYUMMMMM

Don't judge me cause I know you loved the butt hair too ;)

xx

D:

2009-04-07T20:44:00.003+08:00

Okay I just read something on someone's blog about geng antu pucong. Palui takut tah ku nah. Sudahtah the thought of satu antu pucong makes my tits fall off. Apatah lagi SEGENG. Tidur tangah-tangah parents ku tah ku ni from now on until the end of time.

Inda jua sexy tu.

Jokes.

2009-04-07T20:37:00.001+08:00

Stole these jokes from Erwan's blog pasal aku rindu rambut emonya :D

1. Losing all your friends
Man comes home and finds his wife with his friend in bed. He shoots his friend and kills him.
Wife says "If you behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends."

2. Brother wanted
A small boy wrote to Santa Claus,"send me a brother"
....Santa wrote back, "SEND ME YOUR MOTHER"....

3. Meaning of WIFE
Husband asks, "Do you know the meaning of WIFE? It means 'Without Information Fighting Every time'!"
Wife replies, "No, it means 'With Idiot For Ever'!!!"

4. Importance of a period
Teacher: "Do you know the importance of a period?"
Kid: "Yeah, once my sister said she has missed one, my mom fainted, dad got a heart attack & our driver ran away."

5. Confident vs. confidential
A young boy asks his Dad, "What is the difference between confident and confidential? "
Dad says, "You are my son, I'm confident about that. Your friend over there, is also my son, that's confidential! "

6. Anger management?
Husband: "When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you control your anger?"
Wife: "I clean the toilet."
Husband: "How does that help?"
Wife: "I use your tooth brush."

we miss you.

2009-03-29T01:18:00.002+08:00

Before the 27th, I dreaded coming home. I didn't really want to face reality. I didn't want to face the horrible truth. I didn't know how to respond when people asked me whether I was excited about going back home.

I normally just fake a smile and say 'yes'.

On the 27th, my first stop was not home. At the airport, my mother told me we would be going to Mabohai first.

My mind kept whispering 'no'.

It was something I couldn't really explain; I longed to be there, yet I dreaded it sooo much that I had to fight back tears. When I first stepped foot into the house, it felt different. It wasn't the vibrant, lively house I grew up in; all was quiet.

I succeeded in holding back the salty waterfall as I greeted my cousins and everyone else. But when I saw my aunt, my now lonely aunt, I couldn't hold it in any longer. The dam broke, and we just stood there hugging. I couldn't say a word. The pain was too much. Tearfully, she told me she misses him, she longs for him. I still couldn't say a word.

But I'm okay now. I'll get my occasional breakdowns, but I'll be fine. Tomorrow, I'll go there to help out. There's much to do, and I don't think my aunt and cousins can do everything themselves. I'll be there to support them as much as possible, while I can.

For my second family.

mardi.

2009-03-18T02:04:00.003+08:00

HAI. Aku inda paham C3. Aku inda pandai buat FP1. Buduh rasaku eh. And aku damam.

whinewhinewhinewhinewhinewhinewhine

And I don't get what people mean when they say 'sober'. Sober in a bruneian way, which does not seem to have any connection, AT ALL, to sobriety. Same with 'pacah'.

GILA, PACAH TU YO, SOBER KU TARUS!

cool?

saya mau

2009-03-16T05:08:00.002+08:00

Exeat's over ='( and I didn't even finish half of my shopping list. lol. Useless eh =P

Tapiiiii tadi I went to the Versace shop to pretend to be a rich woman. Skali ada this Versace bag warna putih aku cinta brabis. Versace with a capital V pasal the bag lawa brabis. Lawa lah. Lawaaaaa. Tapi harganya 1600+ pounds =( Skali the salesgirl tried to persuade me to buy the bag by telling me that Madonna posed for an advert with that bag, skali bag atu ada scarf. Mihir. Inda jua ku minat si Madonna. Mun Ian Watkins from lostprophets mau ku. Tapi bahapa jua Ian Watkins from lostprophets kan posing for an advert pakai bag Versace putih yang bescarf kan? hahahhahaah cali =(

I saw something disturbing tadi. Ada this boy kid, who looked wayyy younger than me, bisik-bisik arah this older guy, skali ia bite and lick the older guy punya ear! MACAM DDDD: Oldo much? Sedih ku meliat.

Buttt, tadi ada kuyuk ani muanya macam cina pasal matanya sepet and jauh! :D gila, happy ku!

Hahah, I don't make sense. Because I'm like....

your face.

all I can say is...

2009-03-13T03:32:00.003+08:00

Alhamdulillah =)

Tomorrow exeat! =D Going down to London again. Kan shopping for those people who live in my house di Brunei. lol. TULAH. Familyailoveyewww.

Apa ni. I need a shopping list!

1. Camera bag and book/cd on raw for si bapa -Westfield
2. Next/Oxford shopping bags for si mama Rahani -Next/Oxford varsity shops
3. A nice jemputan bag for si mama Rahani -Bicester village
4. Briefcase for Abang Eyul yang baru kawin last November -Bicester village/Westfield
5. Molton Brown for Abang Eyul yang inda lagi single since last November -Westfield
6. Cardigans and whatsitsname perfume for my very fishy sister -Westfield
7. Hadiah untuk si Es cousin soulmate -di mana nah >:3
8. Hadiah untuk si Sarah Hanaa yang kana minta ID untuk membali dvd the notebook yang PG- 15 -Primark. HAHAH. Nadabah sar :3
9. Benda chantique untuk kakak iparku yang chantique jua -Bicester.

Biartia ku beshopping list arah blog. Aku mau jua jadi cool. Tapi not as half as cool as kamu yang name your technologies. Aku mau jua eh.

Meet my phone, Rashid =)

Inda jua ia paham. Palui saja usulku panggil-panggil namanya.

Apanyaaa si Rashid ah.

rezal.

2009-03-12T21:08:00.002+08:00

OHMAIGOD. Results AS keluar todayyyy D8 buduhbaie takutku eh! I can't believe Headington school's releasing it late, like. AFTER SCHOOL. Other schools awal jua dapat, after 8am =/

I can't bloody concentrate on my bloody lessons because I'm so darn terrified!! The teachers know our results but they won't say a word pasal dorang gila. It leads me to over-analyse their words and actions. Kenapa ia senyum2 atu? Apa ertinya tu? Kenapa ia diri dapan meja ku ani? Aku fail kah?? Kenapa ia ke staffroom atu? Nangis ia kah pasal result kami buruk???

Apehhh. Emusi :3

Siuk eh Headington School ani eh. Macam hari raya.

BYE :D

Mourn.

2009-03-05T04:05:00.003+08:00

Two weeks ago, on Sunday, 22nd February 2009 (26hb Safar 1430), I lost someone I love dearly.

Being so far away from home does not make it easier. I haven't called home yet since that day; I don't think I can handle it.

It's been two weeks, and I still have occasional breakdowns. I've been trying to keep myself busy to take my mind off things, but there are those times when memories just come rushing back and reality crashes into view. He's gone, and he's never coming back.

I know, I'm not supposed to hold on like this. I know I'm supposed to let go, but it's not easy at all. I try to smile every day, I try to enjoy myself, but amidst all the acting, I'm actually just blocking all the sadness.

I'm not really looking forward to the Easter holidays; I'll be going home. I'll be facing the truth. I'll visit your grave and everything will turn out to be true. How am I supposed to handle that? How am I supposed to handle seeing everyone? What am I going to say to them? I'll probably just burst into tears the moment I see them.

Hey, remember how you used to tell me to finish off all the rice on my plate? Remember how you always confuse me with my sister? Remember how you always asked me whether I've eaten? And whether I've done my prayers? Remember when you used to send me off and picked me up from school back then? Remember the last time I saw you? I hung out at your place and watched Transformers and played Tomb Raider with your sons, then you called me into your room and asked whether I've eaten and when I'm going back to UK. Remember? It didn't even occur to me that it might be the last time I see you, ever. I didn't even get to say goodbye to you properly; I just subconsciously assumed that I would see you again when I go back. How ignorant I was!

I hate using past tense. It's all too painful. It makes me realise that those small memories of the past will be the only memories I have of you. You went so suddenly. I was told that you were getting better; that your cancer cells were decreasing. I guess it was just your time, and I know I can't do anything about it other than grieve.

To his sons, whom I treat like my own brothers, and his wife, who cared for me ever since I was a child, I pray that you be strong, and I will be here anytime you need me. I'm sorry I can't physically be there for you, but my prayers are with you. I promise that I will not forget him; his memory lives within me forever.

Dearest uncle,
I celebrated the time I had with you, and now I've got the rest of my life to grieve.

Haji Yakub Haji Bagol,

Beloved uncle that I will surely miss,

May you rest in peace.

Al-Fatihah.

Joker.

2009-02-12T05:18:00.004+08:00

I came across some old pictures in my laptop. Good memories came flooding back :')

Getting warmed up for the first round

No pressure. Kami handal kaliah ;D miss you, sis!

Hahah, the mastermind's the one at the head of the table. Yang betopi haji xD

Hahah, kami weird. Bejudi pakai jubah. Well, inda pulang bejudi :P
I miss those joker sessions with my relatives! Can't wait for our next one =)

saaaayang kamu!

ho hum

2009-02-11T06:14:00.002+08:00

2009 BE YOUR BEST ROCK CHALLENGE® DAY FOUR
Southampton Guildhall - Friday, March 6th, 2009

CHRIST THE KING COLLEGE, Newport, Isle of Wight (NEW SCHOOL)
COSTELLO TECHNOLOGY COLLEGE, Basingstoke, Hampshire
HAMBLE COMMUNITY SPORTS COLLEGE, Southampton, Hampshire
HEADINGTON SCHOOL, Oxford, Oxfordshire
RYEISH GREEN SCHOOL, Reading, Berkshire
SOMERTON MIDDLE SCHOOL, Cowes, Isle of Wight
TESTWOOD SPORTS COLLEGE, Southampton, Hampshire
SIR JOHN COLFOX SCHOOL AND WEYMOUTH COLLEGE (NEW SCHOOL), Bridport, Dorset
WILDERN SCHOOL TEAM TWO, Southampton, Hampshire

Homaigod, 3 WEEKS LEFT! DDDDD:
I am honestly, absolutely, I swear to pickles, EXHAUSTED. Mentally and physically exhausted to the point where I almost fell asleep while menelanjangi diriku before taking a shower. And the cold doesn't help. It was so cold today I just wanted to crawl onto a hongky classmate and sleep on her chinese lap!

So I had a grueling 2-hour practice after a full day of lessons tadi. In that 2 hours, we only had 2 minutes of water break. Gila bah. Baik pulang aku sign up for alligator wrestling tu, much more relaxing. PLUS. We were told that we're meant to have a practice session from 4.30 to 7.30 on the last day of half-term. Awal tah ku balik from London ni ))))':
Then 8th March is Brumanch Talentime. God, I hope I don't get the dances mixed up =///
Practise, practise, practise during half-term!

I seriously can't wait for half-term to commence. ESEH. commence! Big English word. I smart you not. I better, you worse. I write, you plagiarise.

Banarnya aku ani kan write up a super bitchy post about this girl wah. But I don't have the energy and wits to do so. I'll try again next time, so hang in there. I might be talking about you (:

I need energy pills.

RC

2009-02-10T01:57:00.002+08:00

Just came back from Rock Challenge practice. It's not going very well :')

Phrases of the day:

Izzy, our group leader: "IT'S A FUCKING TEDDY BEAR ROLL!"

and

Rosie, my dance partner: "Izzy! Izzy! Fuck it. IZZY, I'M A LESBIAN AND I WANNA DO YOU UP YOUR ASS RIGHT NOW!!"

hearts,
Zat.

Thoughts

2009-02-09T21:33:00.001+08:00

Man, it takes a silly girl to lie about the dreams she has

Lord, it takes a lonely one to wish that she had never dreamt at all

And you?

Freeze.

2009-02-06T05:43:00.002+08:00

So we had a very unproductive day today. School was cancelled due to bad road conditions! I pray that tomorrow will be the same, we want another snow day. Go pray to all the Gods you know.

I had an epiphany while frolicking in the snow; a hierarchy is present when you integrate with those of other races to build snowmen/women. Bruneians are seen to be at the bottom of the almighty snowman-builder ladder simply because it is the first time for most of us. At the top of the ladder rules the tyrannical, oh-so-handal-I-want-to-kiss-her-boots snow expert; Ostrichwoman. Why the name? I say if it looks like an ostrich and thinks like an ostrich (an ostrich's eyes are bigger than its brain), that's what we should name her. And she smells like one too.

She helped Aisah and I build a super big, anatomically correct but handicapped snowwoman. By anatomically correct, I meant she had boobs and tits. But they pointed in opposite directions. Ostrichwoman repeatedly pointed out that she was good at snow surgery, so she gave the lady eyes and lips. After she was done, the snowwoman looked as beautiful as the ostrichwoman.

Then Aisah and I decided to make a tiny snow community; a town with houses and miniature snow families. Ostrichwoman said 'NO, we make big house. Come.'
We fled.

I then spent my night watching demetri martin videos. He is the most awesome comedian ever. Todaly wosum, as Stevo would say. I want to be just like him!

Bukan Stevo eh. Demetri Martin.

Yatahkan, I desire to be a super handal comedian. I first thought yeah, I can do this. How hard can it be? So I began googling ways to become a stand-up comedian. Requirement number one: you have to be funny.

There goes my chance.

It has to be absolutely terrifying to make jokes alone, on a stage. I always wonder, what if no one laughs? I think I'll probably just fart to break the silence.

I am a naturally curious person. There's a lot of things I wonder about, but I am never sure who to ask. You always hear people say to you, "if you ever have any questions, please don't hesitate to ask." But do they really mean it? Will they be able to answer the questions I've accumulated in my mind? Like what will happen if a person with explosive diarrhoea sneezes? How did the people in prehistoric times discover sex? If you eat nothing but whitening toothpaste will your shit be white? Who the fuck gives a damn about a huge egg named Humpty Dumpty falling from a brick wall? What kind of name is Humpty Dumpty? Who in their right mind would name an egg? Why do all nursery rhymes turn out to be violent or utterly pointless?

They are, you know. Unless you look super deep into the rhyme and try to work out the hidden meaning. Let me give it a go:

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall,
All the king's horses and all the king's men,
Could not put Humpty Dumpty together again.

Perhaps Humpty Dumpty symbolises an individual who is an outcast from society. The wall represents his life, in which he initially sits proudly and confidently. But when he makes a mistake and falls, he breaks and his life is shattered. No one can heal his pain. He is alone.

aaaaaappppeeeehhh.

Quidam

2009-01-31T22:55:00.004+08:00

J'aurais voulu ne pas mourir,
J'aurais voulu ne jamais grandir,
J'aurais voulu me casser l'âme,
J'aurais voulu déterrer toutes les peines ensevelies,
Je vous souhaite d'être follement aime,
J'aurais aime écorcher d'une voix rêche la surface trop lisse de nos bonnes intentions.

I watched a performance by Cirque du Soleil called 'Quidam' at the Royal Albert Hall last night. To be honest, I've never heard of Cirque du Soleil before. Only last night did I find out that they were this amazing troop of acrobats and street performers who tours worldwide. I have to say I was lucky to catch one of their performances last night; it was absolutely breathtaking, side-splittingly humourous and beautifully creepy.

Extracted from the cirque du soleil website:

Quidam: a nameless passer-by, a solitary figure lingering on a street corner, a person rushing past. It could be anyone, anybody. Someone coming, going, living in our anonymous society. A member of the crowd, one of the silent majority. The one who cries out, sings and dreams within us all.

A young girl fumes; she has already seen everything there is to see, and her world has lost all meaning. Her anger shatters her little world, and she finds herself in the universe of Quidam. She is joined by a joyful companion as well as another character, more mysterious, who will attempt to seduce her with the marvelous, the unsettling, and the terrifying.

Nada pictures of the show because cameras were strictly forbidden =(

ps: I'm looking forward for half-term so we can start rehearsing for our Brumanch dance =)

xoxo

smile

2009-01-23T04:00:00.003+08:00

I sat there quietly, doing the Stephenson out-of-phase wave dance to the tunes blaring through my rogue red skullcandy headphones while diligently writing a draft for my psychology prep when in she walked.

This stranger. This tall handsome stranger. This tall, handsome, female stranger.

I did a double take. She was the most extraordinary woman I've ever met in my 21 years of living (I'm only 17). She reminded me of Dante from the Devil May Cry series. With her short, spiky, pure white hair, and long, flowing black coat, I can envision her standing in the middle of a snow-covered field holding a blood-stained silver sword. My hero.

I overheard her conversation with the librarian; she mentioned she was a stand-up comedian. Her name immediately shot wayyy up, past number 1, on my to-do list. I sat there, transfixed at the politeness of her words and gentleness of her gentle voice.

She proceeded to leave the library. I followed suit. I glided behind her, wetting the corridors of Headington School Oxford with my drool and other bodily fluids. She went through the double doors and continued walking. As I reached the doors, she turned.

She walked back to the doors and opened it for me. I thanked her. She smiled.

I almost died.

I saw her face was perfectly flawless and fair. She had dark-rimmed glasses and an amazing, killer smile. One that sweeps you off your feet if you had feet. I had absolutely no idea who she was, but I sure would like to know. I can't stop thinking of this Dante lady. God help me. Send me her number from heaven. Facebook kah.

Heniway, dramatic moment aside, I'm just procrastinating from doing prep. Exeat please! Annoying bah banyak homework ani. Henoying, henoying. Macam si Ani.

Mwah!

Kinkin.

2009-01-15T04:20:00.006+08:00

I am obsessed with rings. Hahah, as if you couldn't tell from the six rings on my fingers :P
2009- new year, new rings! I want...

1. Signature ring from Swarovski

2. Free Ring from Swarovski

3. Armour Ring by Vivienne Westwood

mmmmmm lawa! Aku mau cincin kawinku dari Vivienne Westwood. Yang armour ring ah. Seronok! I love hardcore rings. Dapat tumbuk orang sampai mati. Yang basar-basar ah, baru siuk, inda alang-alang. Untuk self-defense bah cincin basar-basar ani. It's an investment =)

Bah, apa lagi. Hadiah new year eh. Jangan alang-alang ah. 10 jari, 10 cincin lah.

HUG. Because sexy rings are so sex, drugs, and rock 'n' roll!

Taggg

2009-01-12T06:35:00.002+08:00

Tagged by wana, my hobo-mate.

1. Do you think you're hot?
Entah ah, I'm shivering from the cold but my body temperature's high. sick ='(

2. Upload a favourite picture of you
INDAKUMAU.

3. Why do you like that picture?
Pasal aku lawa.

4. When was the last time you ate pizza?
About a month ago, di Brunei ='(

5. The last song you listened to?
Can't take it by The All-American Rejects.

6. What are you doing now besides this?
Listening to songs by the all-american rejects

7. What name do you prefer besides yours?
I think 'Ash' is a nice name =)

8. Tag 5 people.
1. Nis
2. Ian
3. Sar
4. Mer
5. Erwan

9. Who is number 1?
My Layang-Layang<3

10. Number 2 is having a relationship with who?
me ;)

11. Say something about number 5
Aku kidnap gunting and cellotapenya(sp?)

12. How about number 4?
Penghuni 1B.

13. Who is number 3?
Sarah Hanaa, Shrewsbury-an

=)

2009-01-12T05:23:00.003+08:00

It is not fun being sick during AS exams. To constantly feel lethargic and fluid-y and sotong-like is just YICH. To also have your period at the same time, owman! Recipe for strangulation bah.
Anyhoo. Merry belated new year kamu! No, I didn't welcome the new year with a major body-boppin' bash with native England-type people; I stayed in and watched 'Scream' with Ani instead. One of the best ways to celebrate new year's eve, I tell you (: You should definitely try it; cuddle up with a loved one in bed and count down the last seconds quietly together. Shiok. Macam sexy time.

So how are you guys? Made any good resolutions for the '09? I only made one this year, as I discovered I can never stick to my beribu resolutions. This year, I resolve to just make the most of my days. Nice kan? =) Short and sweet. Like me 8) ehehehe<3>

So how did 2008 treat you? I absolutely loved the final months of my year. He made it all special and adventurous =)

Yes you did, Ian. I am sincerely happy again. I've found my spark kamu! (:

Hahaha, unexpected kan? Who would've thought I'd end up with IAN, of all people. Annoying kaliah anak atu >( LOL. Nadabah Ian. You're a rockstar! :D

I love how I honestly don't have to hide anything from him. Nothing AT ALL. That's the cool part of being in a relationship with your bestfriend, I guess =) Dreamy, dreamy, DREAMY. Everything is perfect. I can be all silly and larap and mihir and he'll still tell me how beautiful I am. You betcha we're thick as thieves. He's my geng yaw!

This is just the beginning of a wonderful adventure, and I'm going to enjoy every picosecond of it. Keep 'em coming! I loike ze adrenaline rush. It's like winning a stackers game at Queen's arcade. Kalah sexy time, banarrrr.

Be happy for me. 'Cause I'm happy for me (:

xoxoxo
Write to me loves!

hormonal much

2008-12-18T23:47:00.002+08:00

OMG. I just finished watching the first season of dexter which I bought quite some time ago, and it is so bloody FANTASTIC. Or fantastically bloody, you decide.
The plot is genius. A total epic WIN. The story has an unbelievably unexpected outcome and the ending is beautifully melancholic. I cried )':

Ohplease, I'm not talking about Dexter's Lab. I'm talking about Dexter the serial killer yang awesome GILA. I want to get the second season. I NEED to get the second season. Obsessionobsessionohmygoddddd

Don't mind me please. You go fangirling over Korean stars, I go fangirling over fake serial killers (:

xoxo
J'adore the ice truck killer parce qu'il est tres OHMAIGOD. J'adore aussi Dexter parce qu'il est OHMAIGOD.

OHMAIGOD.

have you seen my spark? ):

2008-12-17T21:56:00.002+08:00

Faj came over to my place today. Siuk (: We talked from 7.30 to 5.45. NONSTOP. Sampai sakit tekak! Eseh. Wth is tekak?

I haven't been inspired to write a decent post lately. I love writing but I've lost my spark.
aineediu sparkkkk. Where is my spark? Have you seen my spark? ):

Hello, imaginary readers. Please help me find my spark. Can you give me back my spark? ):

I will love you forever if you find my spark. My days are dull without my spark. My spark ignites in me a fiery passion for living. My spark brightens up my day like no other sparks can. My spark is mine, so don't steal my spark please. If I catch you with my spark, I will tear your ribs apart and offer your areolas to the hyenas of Langkawi ):

Spark you.
):

Restless.

2008-12-15T18:15:00.003+08:00

I like sunny days (:
I'm like a mirror, you see. When the sun shines on me, I have no choice but to shine back =)
So if you're beautiful, you'll see your beauty in me ;)
And if you're ugly, you'll see your ugliness in me instead =)
In the sense that I'll be nice or jahat to you. gedditgeddit? =D

Kamu inda suka aku kah? Aku suka. =D
When life pulls me down by my basar ears, I know I can always depend on me to pick myself up. As long as I am with me, I know that everything will turn out foine =D So aku suka diriku lah.

As should you. Kau pun mesti suka dirimu =)

No, I don't understand what I said either. hahahaha
I'm not even sure what I was gonna say in the first place. And I have no idea how it led to this motivational don't-hate-yourself post xD andangnya. I have a short attention span wah. Most of the times, I just stop talking without finishing my sentence because I get distracted by something else that no one understands my story. I think I initially wanted to say something about sunny days but then I got distracted by this pamphlet on my bed about this product called HerbaLine which sells stuff for

Eh, aku still obsessed with Tegan and Sara ah. Cemana ni? Macam. Aku mau kawin sama dorang.

Gila restless ku eh.
Mechanics payah. Aku inda suka =( Well, suka pulang. Tapi kalau it gets to the point where I can't be bothered to think anymore, malas tia ku. Yatah aku inda suka tu >(
Tapi aku suka shopping. Iski ku kan shopping sama si Merah pasal siuk shopping sama ia =D
Aku tau kau pun suka shopping sama aku Mer ;D

lapan hari lagi. I'm not sure whether to be sad or glad or mad =(
how bad =(

rhyming. Now i'm in the mood to write a little poem.

I only have eight more days here,

I wonder if I have enough time,

To go and catch a female deer,

By telling it a silly rhyme.

Gila. Atu pointless post ku atu.

Auto Fiction.

2008-12-14T22:41:00.001+08:00

Bloody awesome book. I finished the whole book in a day because. Well.

I would recommend it to the mentally unstable (:

I'd spend the night and I'll lose my mind

2008-12-14T22:29:00.004+08:00

Hahaha I just realised I look like an excited paedophile arah the picture in my previous post. Sure brings back memories >;D

Of the stage drama competition I joined last year bah =P
I was a horny paedophile named Usop, and along with my partner-in-crime (literally) Udin (played by Nadia), we fantasised about banging this little primary school kid named Sarah (played by Sarah. Surprise surprise).
We even had a fucking rape scene.
On a fucking stage.
In front of a fucking live audience.
It was fucking awesome =D

I even had a monobrow and shit. Imagine.
No piccies pasal aku malu.

xoxo little kids<3

8D

2008-12-14T17:39:00.003+08:00

Aku iski 8)

Pasal I bought a new hoodie 8)
A new STUSSY hoodie 8)
A new DASHBOARD CONFESSIONAL hoodie by STUSSY 8)

Ska ku eh =)

The dude said it's an original. But I doubt it. hahahaa

nah.

Yumm Stussy 8)

xoxo (go ahead and laugh, pervy layang-layang of mine)
Si Satie Suka Sexayyy Stussy.

Dreams and secret desires.

2008-12-11T17:23:00.003+08:00

I hate kids.
I absolutely loathe annoying kids.
Honestly.

Today, I discovered the reason behind my passionate and stubborn hatred towards children;

JEALOUSY.

I can honestly admit that I envy children very much. Who wouldn't be jealous? They live such a carefree life with few responsibilities (I say few because I think they DO have some responsibilites) and the ability to dream. In addition to that, they are innocent to the harsh realities of life!

I envy them.

I pity us non-children; we have to think before we voice out our opinions and ambitions. Say a little girl says this to her parents:

"When I gwow up, I wanna be a pwinceth!"

Her parents will probably encourage the girl's desire by buying her frilly dresses and a plastic tiara. They will then let the girl play in her own imaginary kingdom, feeling proud that their child has such a wonderfully creative imagination.

Now, imagine a 30-year old woman saying the exact same sentence to HER parents.

I think her parents would hang themselves for having such a stupid daughter.

...okay, maybe the 'princess' dream isn't such a good point.

What I'm trying to point out here is the fact that adults aren't really encouraged to dream anymore. I hear a lot of stories nowadays about people being unhappy with what they are doing in their lives. I hear people being forced into doing something they don't want to do for a living, simply because 'they have no other option' or 'the pay's good'.

I find that pretty sad.

You only live once. You should be able to spend the remaining years of your life doing something you actually enjoy doing, despite what people will think about you.

If you're a 40-year old secretary who secretly dreams of being a lawyer, I say GO FOR IT. Get into law school. If you're the CEO of a top marketing company who actually has a passion for singing, take the stage and be a star! Take action!

Dreams without actions are just nightmares.

You ask me what I want to do?

I want to be a criminal behavioural analyst.
I want to catch criminals by predicting their next move before they even think about it.
I want to solve mind-boggling murder cases which have gone unsolved over the years.
I want to protect the people of my country from merciless criminals.
I want to be a top analyst who is hired to help solve crime in other countries.

A lot of people think this is ridiculous: But Brunei has a very low crime rate! You won't have a job if criminology is what you plan to do in university!

Ever visited the jail and wondered why those people are being locked up? Has it ever occurred to you that maybe those burnt houses were caused by arsonists? Have you ever noticed the high number of rape cases in the country?

I believe that I will one day achieve my dream if I work hard for it. I believe that you can too; it's not too late to act, it's never too late to act. As long as you work hard starting from now, and are willing to make sacrifices along the way, I believe you will end up being what you've always dreamed of.

Marry a prince if you dream to be a princess.

Remember these words:

I am not afraid to dream. I am not afraid to choose how I turn out to be.

Let us be children (:

Love,
Zati.

Nah

2008-12-10T21:19:00.001+08:00

I got bored of my pills layout. Here's sheep for you.

hey.

2008-12-10T12:08:00.002+08:00

Kalau suka atu, cakap saja suka. Don't pretend that you don't, when everyone knows you do. And stop playing games already, before someone ends up getting hurt.

It's harder to take self-prescribed pills.

xoxo if you get what I'm saying.

Secrets and Heart-felt promises

2008-12-10T11:44:00.003+08:00

I just went through Mer's christmas dinner album on facebook. Rinduuuu kamu eh! =(

Song of the day: Dashboard Confessional- The Secret's in The Telling

The signal is subtle

We pass just close enough to touch

No questions, no answers

We know by now to say enough

With only simple words

With only subtle turns

The things we feel alone for one another

There is a secret that we keep

I won't sleep if you won't sleep

Because tonight may be the last chance we'll be given

We are compelled to do what we must do

We are compelled to do what we have been forbidden

So I won't sleep if you won't sleep tonight

Our act of defiance

We keep this secret in our blood

No paper or letters

We pass just close enough to touch

We love in secret names

We hide within our veins

The things that keep us bound to one another

You know who's at the receiving end ;)

Hum

2008-12-09T20:40:00.002+08:00

Nis introduced me to an ah-mazing song by Snow Patrol feat. Martha Wainwright. Lawa.

"Set The Fire To The Third Bar"(feat. Martha Wainwright)

I find the map and draw a straight line

Over rivers, farms, and state lines

The distance from 'A' to where you'd be

It's only finger-lengths that I see

I touch the place where I'd find your face

My finger in creases of distant dark places

I hang my coat up in the first bar

There is no peace that I've found so far

The laughter penetrates my silence

As drunken men find flaws in science

Their words mostly noises

Ghosts with just voices

Your words in my memory

Are like music to me

I'm miles from where you are,

I lay down on the cold ground

I, I pray that something picks me up

And sets me down in your warm arms

After I have travelled so far

We'd set the fire to the third bar

We'd share each other like an island

Until exhausted, close our eyelids

And dreaming, pick up from

The last place we left off

Your soft skin is weeping

A joy you can't keep in

I'm miles from where you are,

I lay down on the cold ground

And I, I pray that something picks me up

and sets me down in your warm arms

I'm miles from where you are,

I lay down on the cold groundand

I, I pray that something picks me up

and sets me down in your warm arms

Ra alif mim ba wau ta

2008-12-09T17:34:00.003+08:00

kamukamukamukamukamukamuuuu

I got a new haircut! =D

Nah. Pictures.

Heh. I look retarded in all the pictures. Lighting tu inda bagus (haha in denial!).
Biartia biartia. The point of the pics is to showoff my hair anyway. DONE.

bai.

entah yang keberapa

2008-12-08T15:14:00.002+08:00

'BERULI'

nya si es, ertinya 'BESEX DI ATAS TAPONG'

maritah kitani beruli beramai-ramai! :D

Bekarak kali sudah otakku. Lagi baik. Dari kau nada otak ah. Apakan, cari pasal aku ah xD suri suriiii

Adakah patut beruli ertinya besex atas tapong xD mana inda bekarak burit ulihnya. EEEE burit bekarak! Vulgar jua si zati ani eh. me-hair!

mwah!

terkumat-kamit

2008-12-08T14:54:00.003+08:00

BERKARAK!

baie. CHINTA ku word atu eh.

BUDUHBAIEBABIBEKARAK!

Entah mengapa, segala fikiran dan luahan perasaan di hatiku berbahasa melayu standard secara mendadak.

xoxo
zati.

kutkut-an

2008-12-08T14:07:00.002+08:00

HOI.

Jangan curi lagu ku! Ku kikis muamu karang! D<

Lagu faberit silly boy ku bah tu =(

Jan ko. Bekarak nasi karang buritmu.

make up your mind

2008-12-08T10:53:00.005+08:00

Cubatah ah. Time difference inda exist. Life would be so much easier =(
I wish the world were flat. Supaya semua negeri siang when it's supposed to be siang, then the world flips over untuk jadi malam. Macam PIRING. Piring hitam putih yang memegang segala jenis hidupan liar dan bengis. Like us. We're liar dan bengis ;D

Moving on.

I just miss having friends' shoulders to cry on.
I miss being able to knock on peoples' doors knowing that someone will open up and let you in.

By 'doors' I mean 'hearts'.

wuishhh deep tu yo! peewitttt!

But honestly, it's nice to always have friends who care around. Yes, I have family here. But you know it, and you can't deny it, friends and families are different.

I miss going to starbucks with that certain someone after school to gossip and bitch about everyone and everything.
I miss having someone I could share anything with.
I miss having someone cry on my shoulder and making me feel wanted.
I miss having a coke buddy.
I miss dance practices with that handal girl
I miss hearing that annoying high-pitched voice
I miss having someone to tease about being friends with a russian.
And I miss being able to call up certain people several times a day, just because.

I hope you guys are missing me too. You know who you are =)

xoxo
Zati

emotional vomit.

2008-12-07T22:32:00.002+08:00

It hasn't been long
Replacement's here
I hope I mean what I said
I hope she knows I introduced what you shared
Do memories stay pristine?
Or are we meant to meddle with it like you did?

I need my bestfriend =(

JOKE.

2008-11-26T16:44:00.003+08:00

Guess what?

I'm baaacccckkkk =D

Back to nights of karaoke and games of JOKER<3
Back to deliciously halal food
Back to bitching sessions with my sister and cousins
Back to hanging out with Nisah<3
Back to 'criminal minds' on my sister's lappie
Back to charmed marathons
Back to playing playstation games wth my cousin
Back to my family =)

Home is where the heart is. AUSSINOOOO!

Most of all, I'm really glad to be able to attend my brother's wedding. Happy kahwin you =D

ps: stop with the cliche questions/jokes already D<
"Pandai tah kau cakap melayu masih?"
"NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADEH!"

Dumb karaoke song is stuck in my head =/
jangantunggulamalamanantilamalamadiadiambilorang~

Naissss!

2008-11-20T22:13:00.002+08:00

Everyone is soooo nice and beautiful in this world =D I have never stopped smiling since the day I was born because everyone just makes my day wonderful every single moment, every single day =D I don't think I can ever get married because I can't seem to choose who is the nicest person on earth; everyone is amazing! I love you all! =D

Kalau aku blogging cematu, menipu jua tu. I can assure you, if you ever hear me say that, that's not me. I don't like everyone, and I don't think the whole world is nice.

So I'm straightforward, so what?

If you find my blog insulting, go away already. I don't have any obligations to suck up to my blog readers by pretending to be nice and posting about the nice things nice people do to me. If you're looking for some feel-good stories, google Enid Blyton.

xoxoxo
:D

YSU!

2008-11-12T07:36:00.004+08:00

He didn't cheat.
I didn't cheat.
It just happened.

Get your facts right (:

YOU SO UGLAYYYY :D

xoxo
zat.

A mess.

2008-11-10T06:12:00.002+08:00

That's what this whole thing is.

Don't ask me how I got myself into this situation, it just happened. I didn't plan it, I didn't see it coming, I didn't wish for it to happen.

But it did anyway.

Go ahead, ask me what this is about. As if you don't already know. Come on, I'm sure you've been told right? News spreads fast.

I honestly don't know how to handle this. I don't even know if there's anything to handle. All I know is that I need to talk to a lot of people. They deserve to know. You deserve to know.

I hope you're okay with it. And if you're not, I'm sorry, I can't do anything about it. I can't stop it from happening. No one can.

I'm sorry if I hurt you, it's inevitable. I just hope you'll be fine with it in time.

I don't believe what I did was wrong. So why will it end up hurting a lot of people? Why do I have the feeling that it's gonna end up hurting YOU? Am I over-reacting?

In the end, all that matters is that I've got you and you've got me and that's all we need, right? =)

right?

Tiny hearts beating

2008-10-19T06:09:00.003+08:00

Kids. They have one thing in common; they're all big dreamers.

adult #1: What do you want to be when you grow up?

kid #1: I want to be a teacher because I want to be smart and know everything!

adult #2: What do you want to be when you grow up?

kid #2: I want to be a soldier because I want to be strong and I want to protect my country!

adult #3: What do you want to be when you grow up?

kid #3: Duktur. Pasal sanang. Urang sakit bagi panadul.

I used to dream big as well (heck, I still do sometimes). As a kid, I desired to be mega wealthy. I wanted to live in a 3-storey house with lots of bedrooms and a library. As the years passed, my dream house grew in my retarded imagination; it had a gaming center with a pool table, a swimming pool and a sports centre with a gym.

Then this bloody thing called puberty came along and changed my way of thinking. I abandoned my dream house and set out for sort-of greener pastures known as the harsh truth; dreams like that are just dreams.

However just recently, I discovered that God DOES work in mysterious ways. Your childhood dreams will be achieved one day as long as you are patient. But not in the pearl-perfect way you envisioned it to be.

I DO live in a 3-storey house with lots of rooms now. I DO have a library in my house. This house DOES have a gaming center with a pool table. There IS a swimming pool. There IS a sports centre with a gym.

Pick your jaw off the floor, ladies and germs. I live in Hillstow House which is part of Headington School with 40+ other girls now and it is not as wonderful as it sounds. It's really cold and unfriendly, and it looks and feels like a mental hospital.

I think God was only half-listening when I prayed to him as a child.

I guess pokemon won't come to life then.

Fuck.

Boarders' dinner

2008-09-07T05:31:00.018+08:00

Had Boarders' dinner tadi. Was funnn =D met a lot of new people.
Foodnya buruklah. As usual. Babinya bau. Tapi salmonnya handal.
nah. gambar. Im tired of typing =)

BruHead 2008 minus Ayuni

Merah, Ani and Fazleen

Fazleen, Ani and Nadia

No camwhoring session is complete without the one with the toilet mirror

Sama si Tiqah; coat and boots

Kimah =)

Fishy! =D

Kasia! =D

Deylah and Mai =)

The twins, Winky and Eva. I can't tell which is which. lol

Sabrina, Julian and Aisah. Sabrina reminds me of Nis. I miss Nisah =(

And last but not least...

J.Y! =D

Fin.

far.

2008-09-04T04:44:00.004+08:00

Haven't updated because I've been busy. Manada aku lupa kamu =)

I'm fine here at Headington; everyone's sooo nice! And I feel right at home here at the Hillstow boarding house. I haven't adjusted to the weather yet though. It is so effing cold. And it's only summer. Wonderful (: We're all gonna die in winter (:

A lot has happened since I arrived in UK on 27th. You all might think that I've spent a lot on clothes and other pretty things but truth is, the only major purchases I've made are on a scarf and rollerblades xD

And going ice skating and bowling. And arcading. ~~And gambling.~~

Don't you worry about me here, I'm doing just fine =)

No ugly questions like, "pandai kau cakap melayu masih?"
Soalan itu sebida mukamu.

ps: Happy fasting people! =)

Tag replies:

Kwang: Hi. apakan? lol
Ehsan: ;) to you.
sabri: memang pun aku manis (:
sabrina: will link you soon =)
izzy: rawrrr
Dillahlove: I miss you too ;________;
kaka: I miss YOU Dx I hope everything's fine back home. Love you too xoxox
wan: nada ku banyak shopping =( can't wait to see you here! I miss Panatzorists hangouts =(
muafah: noted ;)
wina: HAHA XD
ema: I effing miss you too! and manada aku lupa kau. Susah bah online sini =(

Bye kamu. kisses.

Tagged by Mu'afah and Qalbi

2008-08-22T21:14:00.003+08:00

1. state 15 weird things/habits/little known facts about yourself.

2. the 10 people I tag are then to follow what I did and write their own 15 weird things/habits/ little known facts.

3. most importantly, NO TAGBACKS.

My 15:-
1. I put rice in my soup instead of soup on my rice.
2. I hate ants. Rephrase: I absolutely LOATHE ants with passion. Everytime I see an army of ants, I just feel like bashing/stomping on them mercilessly.
3. I am obsessed with criminolgy and real crime stories. I read up on them almost every day, and despite my poor memory, I can state crime facts pretty well.
4. I had an epiphany the other day; I don't hate kids, I just hate ugly, annoying kids. The lawa ones I ah-dore (: walaupun ia annoying. hahahha
5. Aku inda suka orang bida yang prasan lawa =)
6. I have a habit of obsessively staring at pretty people. Nyaman mata meliat bah.
7. I don't like to go out at night because I'm afraid of rapists.
8. Aku judgemental. I can hate you instinctively or from your blog contents or from what the people I trust say about you. I'm right about these people most of the time.
9. Aku slalu inda tahan ketawa kalau sama my cousin Es masa serious majlises like tahlils. And kalau orang baca doa testuck-stuck pun. Mesti avoid eye contact xD
10. Aku sasak meliat orang tudongya inda bisai.
11. Dulu si sarah lagi tinggi dari aku.
12. Si Sarah kan masukkan gambar poklenku into the AV presentation for the dinner (refer to "HAWT" post)
13. Aku rindu Sarah :(
14. Aku sasak si Ehsan pasal ia inda mau bagitau aku siapa ia mau bawa. And aku sasak si Najib pasal ia inda mau cakap sama aku lagi. Najib slalu ditch aku =( boo you najib.
15. I miss my boyfriend ='(

I tag no one.

Handbags and neckties.

2008-08-22T12:12:00.001+08:00

Wana's in my room now.

Guess what we're doing?

ZLD

2008-08-18T23:26:00.002+08:00

I love how you amuse me with the stuff you say and do.
I love how I can pull silly faces and still look 'cute' to you.
I love how you go to such great lengths just to make my day a lot better.
I love how you hesitate to choose between me and your friends; it shows how loyal and true you are to the ones you love.
I love how I can be uber bitchy and judgemental, yet you tell me I am beautiful inside out.
I love how you wake up early or sleep late just to keep me company.
I love how a smile automatically forms on my face when I see your sweet smile.
I love how our watches match coincidentally.
I love how brave you are at showing your true emotions to me.

I've fallen for you again tonight. Can you tell? =)

HAWT

2008-08-14T19:14:00.010+08:00

My cousin gave me the link to this video tadi. It was made by a Bruneian showing two of the 'HAWT-EST gurlz on da planet'.

As you can guess from the title, it was mihir.

I won't give you the link because I'm gonna save you the trouble of searching for debu tanah and 7 baldi air pasal dorang macam BABI. I have issues against ugly people yang prasan kiutt. Yang gambar dorang muka sampit or pics with inflated cheeks (supaya kiutt) or yang be-edit supaya 'lawa' muanya.

Yang be-edit atu aku kesiankan lah. Dorang ada low self-esteem and they NEED to edit their photos before posting it on the net, so that laki-laki pikir dorang lawa. Skali when they meet for the first time, and the guy sees her from afar, ada background music yang brijap.

...yeah.

Saya mahu imitate the HAWT girls because I can =) So, sla'zing and prasan kiutt tapi biutt pictures below bracketpleasedon'tjudgemeclosebracket.

See how ridiculous it looks? Live and learn; jangan jadi poklen. Apa kata ahli philosopher atu?

"ANAK POKLEN TIDAK DISAYANGI IBU"

let's multiply ;D

2008-08-12T10:49:00.002+08:00

Tried signing up for a multiply account because it's easier to post pics banyak-banyak there.

And I can't believe 'zatish' is unavailable =(
Then aku check siapa pakai 'zatish' =(
Inda jua orang atu pakai tu =(
As in, inda active =(
Can I use it then? =)

Aku suka pakai 'zatish' =)
Pasal it's my name =)
not just the 'zati' part =)
also the 'sh' part =)
pasal it's my dad's name =)
as in, 'shahari' =)
bloodyawesome, i know =)
plus, it sounds like 'fetish' =)
makin jua bloodyawesome tu =)

Nah. Sudah ku buat multiply account =D I'll post my pictures sana saja, and I'll use both blogger and multiply to blog because I'm jobless that way. WOOO aku inda mau bagitau kamu link ku WOOOO~

pasal alum ada apa-apa xD

short like me =)

2008-08-11T22:11:00.002+08:00

Thanks to those who tagged with answers; SAYA APPRECIATE!

Hello and thank you to those senior Headingtonians who tagged; mai, deyls and syaz. HI SENIORS =D I can't wait to meet all of you and hear your experiences sana. Any of you reside at Hillstow?

giukbulumerah: HAHA stress jua kau =P I think kau okay sudah ni, lapas kana brief tadi. I'll link you soon =)

uninthpired.

2008-08-06T20:06:00.002+08:00

I haven't been updating because

1. I've been busy
2. I'm uninspired

Hellllooooo muse! INSPIRE me please! Breathe me in!

Skulah ku esok eh. Pasal aku rindu kamu amat =) and pasal aku kan tunjukkan kamu stool sample ku. LOL. nadabah. Amah Indon auntyku saja yang mihir cematu. Aku inda 0=)

I have questions.

Yang results for darah, urine and shit (literally haha) bila dapat? Do we have to get it or tarus kana bagi masa appointment nanti?
Bila kamu balikkan buku?
Bila kamu beranti skulah?
Alum lagi ada kah, acceptance letter ah?
Kalau aku lama inda masuk registration, kana antar arah haiseh kah tu?
Under visa application, "Who will travel with this child?", Is it 'unaccompanied' or 'other adult'?
Should I feel insulted that the visa thing considers me a 'child'?
Does this blog even have any readers? =(

Some people refer to readers who don't tag or leave comments as 'silent readers'.

I find it really funny.

Jadinya, those who DO tag/leave comments baca blogmu nyaring-nyaring kali?

hahahahahhaha it's not funny anymore =(

I'm a silent reader for your blog because I like you and I think you're pretty =) Do you know that it's possible to hack onto people's webcams? So these hackers can actually stare at you. All. the. time. mmmm =)

Siapa dapat jawab soalan-soalanku, mamamu bangga akan dirimu =)

yo mama!

Opportunity can lead you both ways.

2008-08-01T13:15:00.003+08:00

When Opportunity comes ringing your doorbell and tapping your window, would you just ignore it and draw the curtains? I wasn't sure what to do when Opportunity presented itself to me. Should I say 'yes' or 'no'? I sincerely envy those who could answer within minutes, without any doubts or fears. Please don't say that I am not grateful; I'm just confused. The final decision, whether to say 'yes' or 'no', requires heavy thinking for me. A lot of considerations have to be made. A lot of soul-searching and keeping an open mind, accepting other people's opinions regarding the matter. I had to search deep within myself, asking questions which challenged my self-confidence and blew my ego. Opportunity made me realise that I don't know myself that well, that I am still a lost child; weak and dependent. Opportunity came bearing a fruitbasket containing a half of fresh and sweet fruit, and a half of poisoned ones. Should I make the wrong move, I would either regret my decision forever, or lose my individuality. So I have to choose carefully. I fear that saying 'yes' would lead me to loneliness, insecurity, loss of both self and loved ones, and the beginning of a downward spiral, and that saying 'no' would lead me to a lifetime of regret, a hazy and shaky future, and also the beginning of a downward spiral. I am not sure of anything.

As I said, this requires heavy thinking. Very heavy thinking indeed.

That was then. I have made my decision, and I shall keep to it.

I say 'yes'.

.

2008-08-01T00:04:00.002+08:00

Many thanks to kamu who realised I've been away and yang said 'welcome back' to me =) Kamu sweet<3

InsyaAllah nanti I post up the pics from UK =)

lovelove, Zati.

Five.

2008-07-31T23:44:00.002+08:00

One word. Indescribably magical.

I must be lucky (:

Thank you, God. For sending me more happiness than I deserve; happiness in the form of a boy named Hamdillah =)

Dillah, will you be my moonlight dance partner? =)

fun.

2008-07-18T16:13:00.002+08:00

HAHAHA KAMU TAU.

Ada orang cari kelaie arah ku on friendster (:

She left me this comment:

hm, why can't people stand girls like you? izit cus u're just too full of urself? or mayb u have an attitude? u nid an attitude adjustment o sumthng? *wondering*

(she's talking about my friendster profile xD)

Then I replied,

Because I'm shameless and full of myself. Entah. Don't take it seriously, it's just friendster =P

Ia:

well, i can see that. =) yea, it's only friendster. thanks for the view, anyway.

Me:

Inda jua payah bitchyyyy~ At least aku inda prasan cute macam kau.

Kidding xP this is what I replied:

excuse me? I don't think it's fair for you to judge me; you don't even know me.
And you're welcome.

Ia:

i don't mean to offend you. and i don't mean to judge u like that. but, it's obvious. but hey, who cares? um, let's change the subject. are you sitting for your PMB ths year?

Me:

Obvious tiaaaa~
What you think I'm a whore or something kah?

No eh, haha. Actually, I'm in form 6. Why, are you sitting for your pmb this year? Best of luck!

Ia:

if u think u are? HAHA. no laa. you are not a whore. i'm just kidding. um, i think u're just mean. not that i mind. well i do actuali. (apa kn? haha). u'd be in a gud shape if u weren't mean. just a thought. =D wow. lower 6? cool, cool! =P you're like a sister to me.

Sister tiaaaaa xP

Me:

No, I'm not a whore, I swearrr xPAnd I'm not mean either. I guess everyone has different opinions, and I don't really care about what other people think. ...to some extent. haha. Hence is why I say narrow-minded people shouldn't tagur aku; they're too judgemental.Which school do you go to?

What she wrote arah commentsnya sendiri:

zati: um, im not judging. i was just playing along. u told me u were shameless, ure full of urself and evrythng. so... i just said it's obvious. maybe it sounded a little mean, yea? sorry then.

And arah my page:

to be continued. thanks for the luck thing. i gtg. um, add my email if u don't mind? =D hehe. adios. just reply my comments. i'll get back to u later. tonight maybe. or maybe tomorrow. =s. bye bye.

Minta add lagi tu kan ;D tepakai tia kali kan aku. wuishhhhhhh
Siuk jua cemani ani ah =D

'sup?

2008-07-18T14:48:00.003+08:00

Fansign for ABOO! Cos' he too fly to be plain ol' Abu. Ya dig?

Entah, siapakan si Abu ani?

I seriously don't understand the purpose of fansigns. Can someone please explain it to me? Because I've been seeing it everywhere, especially on people's friendster pictures. Their popularity(?) is spreading like fungi on viagra.

Ya noe I'm too kewl fo' dis shit, dawg!

J from da hood gotta BOUNCE.

lol.

you make me wanna...

2008-07-17T20:17:00.004+08:00

You know what I crave for whenever you're around? ;)
When I see your face and hear your voice, I have this longing in my heart, a strong desire to do things others can't imagine ;)
When I feel that passion rising in me, I just want to act on impulse and pull you closer ;)

So I can strangle you and snap your sorry neck.
Or at least nail your langap-langap mouth shut.
Kau bising. And annoying as a parrot on repeat.

Aku inda suka kalau orang bising when I'm doing my work, so I normally just sit quietly and listen to music to drown out the voices. But you. YOU keep pestering me with your 'are you okay?'s. I'm sorry if my face screams out 'stupid, mute woman!', but if I DID have any problems with my work, I would ASK you. Goddamn parrot. Go eat your droppings.

Haiiii =)

Period cramps release the angry gorilla in me.

The 'Feel-good' Project.

2008-07-14T21:20:00.001+08:00

This is why.

My positive qualities:

I have good manners- I don't burp, scratch my crotch or let out a nuclear-resembling fart in public. I smile to people, I open doors for others (some lah), and I tunduk whenever I pass in front of elderlies. Saya gentleman yaw.
I can carry out decent conversations with almost everyone, including young kids and old fogies. I may not like children, but at least I know how to entertain them. And I may not find adults very interesting, but at least I respect them enough to listen politely.
I'm quite smart. Not exactly a genius, but my public exam results have been satisfactory, and I haven't failed any of the tests I've taken in form 6. Not yet, anyway :P
I am open-minded. You can talk to me about anything; sex, drugs, religion, the environment, war, homosexuality, crime etc, without me shooting daggers from my eyes.
My looks. Not exactly Kate Beckinsale or Monicca Bellucci gorgeous, but I'm quite satisfied. At least alum ada orang mati or kesarungan meliat muaku.

Things I appreciate:

My parents- for giving me life, hope and the support I need to achieve my goals, however impossible it may seem. Also for raising me in a quite strict household; I think I turned out pretty well =)
My brother- for all the emotional training he gave me. Although unintentional, I'm thankful; I don't get insulted easily because of him =P and also for all the advice and small talks we sometimes have. I'm glad to have someone experienced guide me through the harsh challenges of modern education.
My sister- for supporting every decision I make, listening to my problems, offering advice when advice is needed, offering a shoulder to cry on, and just for being there whenever I need her =)
My bestfriends- for making me laugh and smile on a daily basis, for patiently listening to my endless rants and bitchy comments, for accepting me the way I am, and for welcoming me in your circle. You guys are awesome. You know who you are ;)
My cousins, the two Es sisters- for all the wonderful memories we've shared and will always remember, for making growing up less painful, for all the laughs, for all the good times, for all the good times, for all the wonderful times =')
My boyfriend- For making my days bright and cheerful, for being so understanding and patient, and for showering me with endless love and attention =)
My education- My primary school, PGGMB Sungai Akar, gave me what I think to be the best primary education I could ever been given. It was also an experience like no other. Currently, I attend Maktab Sains PSBS, which is considered to be the top college in the country (for some unknown reason, haha). I am thankful to be part of this college because of it's excellent facilities and dedicated teaching staff. Honest =)
My ability to fake confidence- to be honest, I hate, hate, HATE public speaking and talking to strangers. But normally, I just flash a smile and pretend I'm used to it. With this 'special power' of mine (lol), I don't stammer when I give speeches or have oral exams, and my hands don't visibly shake. Thank God for that =)
My life- I have enough; I have never starved, I have never tasted poverty, I have never met war and I have never been neglected. I have just enough; not too little, not too much. =)

Writing and rereading this post formed an automatic smile on my face and made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Your turn to write one. And you shall never be emo again =)

Zati wants you to Feel Good too =D
More info here.

Memories I hold dear

2008-07-12T17:31:00.005+08:00

The good times I miss:

Having sleepovers and hanging out with kamu. Maz, Dinah, Jeer and Lie, we need to spend time with each other again sometime.

Outings with Ema. And I especially miss Panatzorists' bitching sessions at Swensens.

Having amusing and random stuff on the class notice board, such as drawings, sambung cerita (which always ended up being either too perverted or too violent) and Billy (the 'guy' with 5S students' best qualities stuck on to him).

Watching Nis draw on tablecloths. Actually, watching Nis draw. She's amazing. In more ways than one ;)

Sir Bio, Miss Henny and Miss Ani.

Organising performances for school events with the whole class, especially kamu.

Karate. And begila time karate with Sar and Wan.

Going for Hari raya visits in a bus with the class. We should do it again this year =)

Sleeping over/spending time at Nis'. I also miss listening to you guys play =(

Haha. Don't be so perverted.

I just really miss 5S. Don't you? =(

secret desires.

2008-07-06T18:03:00.004+08:00

Today I went to my cousin's to attend a 'mandi belawat' ceremony. There, I became a paedophilic photographer. Enjoy looking at the pictures as much as I enjoyed taking them :)

Inseparable.

Milo matey!

Handsome boy! =D lol<3

Them adorable kids are my nieces and nephews (:

Would you believe I actually don't like kids?

I have someone in mind.

2008-07-04T19:19:00.003+08:00

They say she's confident.

I say she's insecure.

Why? Because she can't seem to be herself. She's a copycat. And I have this theory that copycats are insecure about themselves, hence they need to copy someone else's life/actions/words to appear interesting.

Sad, much?

I don't like plagiarists. Kesian ku those people whose work gets plagiarised. Macam, susah-susah berusaha to get it as close to perfect as possible, then someone leeches off him and gets all the credit. Unfair jua tu =( karma bah karma. Cuba kamu bah, kana copy answers in tests sudah kamu kan hysteria and riuh seluruh bumi. Imagine if your words of wisdom kana steal, skali the stealer gets all the credit and is renowned as The Mighty and Wise One. and Funny too. Let's not forget Funny. More like, FUNNNAAYYY.

Amin kau kampis susu setampik.

Please don't plagiarise my words/opinions. If you don't like something I like, just say it. I don't care because I know we're different, and I would actually find you more interesting if you had original thoughts and opinions. Instead of just agreeing with what I say with that fake smile of yours.

Antak kepalamu arah dinding duapuluhtujuh kali please.

Amen (:

Step back.

2008-07-01T20:16:00.002+08:00

I miss those moments when it was just the two of us, bitching without a third ear lurking around.

And I miss those crazy days with kamu. 2007 was the best school year, in my opinion. Pasal 5S was uberuber FUN. I loved that class, and the people in it. I especially love the fact that I could see you guys everyday, and sit with kamu in every class. I hate Pre-U life =(

"If you want the rainbow, you'll have to put up with the rain"

2008-06-30T18:40:00.002+08:00

First day of school, and Saxon picks on ME.

...In front of two TP teachers.

not funny.

And I have two maths homework, one chem assignment, and a test coming up.

not funny.

And the mee tadi rasa tikus.

not funny.

Happy birthday to Ehsan. Since aku baikbaikbaik, and hari ani birthday mu:

You're funny (:

Shoutout sikit eh!

Nis: We should just tell them to shut up (:
Sar: Nada ku marah bah eh. Mun banar, canatah jua kan? :P LOL
Wan: You. I miss you :( dont miss school tomorrow ah.
Ira: tsk tsk tsk. You and your oddities. lol. Thanks brabis for the present =D
Aisah: Walaupun Spain manang, inda jua payah celebrate by going to Hongkong =S come back homeeeee
Nadia: Kau putih (: Aku baru tau kau Eurasian xD

Your names are in green because they're jealous of you (:

cheetos.

i bet $10 ramai orang sleepy tomorrow

2008-06-29T20:50:00.000+08:00

Tomorrow.

School reopens.

@%$#&%#

xE

2008-06-29T01:03:00.002+08:00

You know how people normally put a picture of their loved one/s as their phone or computer wallpaper? Yeah well, I notice some people use their own photos.

Saya suka tu (: RESPEITO.

Panatzorists blog is dying ): I would post something, but I can't think of anything interesting to post up on our blog. Because I'm only talented in talking about myself. I'm too full of myself ):

Banarnyakan, aku jealous UIC punya blog. Pasal dorang ada regular updates ): AKU MAU CEMATU!!!

ME ME ME! Adangtahwah. Whiny jua si zati ani eh. Cubatah think of others. Dorang have much bigger problems kaliah~ Bukan kau sorang saja bermasalah. TU, budak-budak afrika ah.

Sikit-sikit africa. Africa is sooo over-rated. Orang Kenya pun bermasalah jua. Or is Kenya part of Africa? Entah. Kau jua bjak geo.

When you start to talk about yourself in third person, you know you should get your head examined for anthills (:
Aku paranoid aku mati pasal ada samut masuk telingaku masa aku tidur. Pastu samut atu mengadakan party seks rambang bersama samut-samut lain. And dorang melapaskan nafsu serakah dalam otakku. Pastu dorang banyak betalur pasal dorang inda pakai condom samut. And aku jadi buduh lah, pasal dorang minum brain juice ku ): Yatah aku mati pasal aku luan buduh ):

CHOI.

Wuishhhh. Inda kamu takut bahasa melayu ku ah? Mastika and bicara is good for malay sexual terms (:

:B

2008-06-27T09:24:00.002+08:00

Cuti's almost over and I haven't completed any of my goals; alum revise LANGSUNG, files alum berorganise (baru chemwheeee), buku cerita alum abis bebaca, and short story incompleted. :(

BURUUUUUUKKKK!

Sometimes I think I set goals which are too high =/

Tau sudah badan PINDIK. Apakan. Buduh much xP

Atubah, my cousin and I have a crush on si Kevin ;)
Bukan Kevin SMSA yang ramai girls go insane over ;)
Tapi Kevin the policeman ;)
From RPD ;)
Yang dari game Resident Evil Outbreak ah ;)

Yes, we finally managed to end the game =D I love online walkthroughs. Play the game if you dare. Siukkkkk~ Bagi ku lah ah. Membrijap pulang, yatah aku main sama cousinku :P

Ada orang atu. Ia inda berani main pasal ia takut. I won't say who tapi namanya starts with N, ends with B and it sounds like Najib. Lol. Jangan marah Jib ;P

And.

My friend cakap, ada orang atu prasan bff sama aku. Tapi in reality, I've never spoken to her at all.

Macam, apakan? Inda jua brapa kan dikambang-kambangkan bekawan sama aku ani. Hawts eh. Macam artist. Baiktah aku bunuh diri kali. Sama jua tarafku sama Marilyn Monroe.

Hahaha, Marilyn Manson. It's hard to be properly scared of a guy named Marilyn =I

Ubah tia namamu atu, jadi AFKHAN! Manson. Barutah tekamih-kamih urang mendangar.

"Siapa?"

"Si atubah, AFKHAN!"

Awu, mesti capital letters, ada exclamation mark, in bold and underlined.

rawr!

2008-06-26T02:04:00.000+08:00

He's so hot even dinosaurs want him.

Sorry suckers, but I've got my teeth marks all over him =E

seventeen together.

2008-06-25T14:29:00.000+08:00

Seventeen things I love about you.

I love...

...how you can turn one of the worst days of my life into one of the best.
...your sweetness. You're gonna give me diabetes one day :P
...the way you smile. I melt<3
...the way your eyes go sepet when you smile x)
...the fact that you proposed so early because you were afraid you'd lose me to someone else.
...how your hand feels so natural in mine, yet it still makes my heart beat twice as fast
...how you can make me smile and laugh when I am feeling down
...how you allow me to be as bitchy as I want. And still love me anyway =)
...how you understand that I'm busy sometimes, and that it doesn't mean I don't love you.
...your patience in dealing with my bratty whines and childish tantrums.
...your honesty =)
...your faithfulness. Ramai peminat pun, you still choose me ;)
...how you can tell when I'm hiding my feelings.
...the way you secretly stare at me when I'm doing my work.
...the fact that you're a great listener =)
...how sexayyy you are ;P LOL.
...how perfect you are to me =)

Happy birthday, Muhammad Hamdillah Hayupkhan =)))

Love from peminat setiamu ;P :
Izzati Shahari.

24/06- four.

2008-06-25T14:12:00.000+08:00

Still going strong. We're so solid, nothing can tear us apart babe ;D
And my heart won't be taken by another.

Except by him

or him

or him

No one else =)
Happy four months. I love you =)

eve of 22nd June

2008-06-25T13:30:00.000+08:00

My relatives threw me a surprise birthday party, isn't that sweet? (:

Pasal dorang kesiankan aku, I told them I've only had two proper birthday parties in my life. lol

And they came dressed in purple! =D

And they got me my fucking favourite kind of cake; mudcake! =D unintentionally pulang tu :P

Skali my name on the cake kana spell as 'zaty'. Like. ZATY. Bukannya ZATI. Tapi, ZATY.

Hawts jua rasaku tu. Sial. Baie.

Apakan. Unappreciative xP nadabah. I love kamuuuuu~ Thanks brabis to my beloved relatives, especially those in the Bujang household =D

Loved (:

Pasal aku hawts bah.

seventeen

2008-06-23T12:44:00.000+08:00

Not much difference. Lol.

Happy birthday to Rumm and Aunty Misli =)

Happy birthday to me jua. Hope the fun is seventeenfold this year =P

My relatives threw me a surprise birthday party last night. So sweet =') Thanks berabisly kamu! I love kamu semua =D
Shall post pictures nanti. Won't be updating this few days because I'll be at my grandma's house; no internet connection there. Be patient, imaginary readers =)

Wait for the day when zati gets reunited with the web,
hearts.

I don't like a lot of things.

2008-06-21T20:07:00.000+08:00

In the mood to change my blog's skin again. Beware of fatal heart attacks.

AisahRAWR!

Because hot ladies need nice heels to keep miang dogs at bay ;)

rawr<3

2008-06-19T23:02:00.000+08:00

I am now screaming my tits off, watching my cousin dodge all the blood-hungry zombies.

Palui jua resident evil outbreak ani ah. I never realised it was THIS scary in the first location.

The beach makes us THIS happy =D

Hello pantai, I like you very much! (:

Hamdillahmuahh<3

fuckin' foklenz

2008-06-18T22:26:00.000+08:00

Aqu kan...
windu urg nie baa...
ea dulu slalu dgnkan aqu...
mamam ama2...
ketawa ama2...
kami 2 kira tyt la...
tapi entah arrr....
masa nie mcm inda brapa rapat g baa...
inda qu tau napa...
aqu windu la ea vravish...
i miz my bstfrn...
2 u hu's readin dis, pls dnt nglcet ur frenz...
show dem hw specl dey rly r...

woseh.

BITCH!

I get annoyed when people add dots after their sentences. Macam, apakan? Kira suspense kah tu??

From champs to champs.

2008-06-17T18:52:00.000+08:00

This was last year:

This is this year:

Are we awesome or are we awesome?

love kamu.

17th June 1985

2008-06-17T18:12:00.000+08:00

Happy 23rd bithday to Nurul Hafizah aka Fishy/Ah Peng/sisterku yang tersayang :P
Can't wait to see you in July. I MISS YOUUUUU x'((
Flipped through old photos of us, I almost cried ='((
...Horror bah kami atu. HAHAHA nadabah xP You know I love you because you're my bitching partner ;D

So. Will post only slightly horrifying pictures. Enjoy,~~wankers~~ kamu.

With love,
adikmu.

Kamu thangat jahat!

2008-06-15T20:50:00.000+08:00

Firstly, I would like to thank those who supported us for the drama competition. We're not sure if we made it to the finals yet, but the judges did praise us, especially our captain (si ginis IRA) because she's so fucking handal. I honestly think we have a chance =D

Secondly, I have pictures from last thursday's school events; the interclass poetry competition prize presentation ceremony and the interhouse stage drama competition. I shall post them up nanti. No promises because I'm a bitch.

Thirdly, the drama finals falls on tuesday, 17th june. Good luck to all participants =) I sincerely hope we kick your asses.

Fourthly, happy holidays kamu!

Fifthly, acting can cause personality changes. Beware.

Sixthly, I actually enjoyed 'the happening'.

Lastly, don't you find it annoying when people use the same method I used above (firstly, secondly, dua juta lima ratus enam puluhly...) in presentations? Because I do. I'm trying to make a point here.

cutiiiiiii!

monday monday monday

2008-06-09T18:55:00.000+08:00

HI =D

I WAS WHINY YESTERDAY BECAUSE I HAD AN ANAL HEADACHE FROM GP OVERDOSE.

I STILL HAVE THE HEADACHE TODAY.

I'M SLIGHTLY PISSED + RELIEVED BECAUSE THE GP PRESENTATION WAS POSTPONED TO WEDNESDAY.

I'M ALSO PISSED ABOUT THE DRAMA.

AND I'M ALSO PISSED SEBAB I HAD A BAD START TO THE DAY.

capital letters pasal aku marah (:

Breaks in my lines pasal kau disleksik (:

Smilies pasal kau lawa becawat (:

I wanna win the drama competition, tapi cemana kan manang if our script kan sama with that other group?

Buyuk (:
Plagiarist (sortof) (:
Ku buang kamu karang dalam longkang (:
Paksatah tani flash our tits arah the judges ni (:

Last monday of the term<3 Happy ku eh! Cuti inda lagi lama =D
moonwalk sikit eh.

kan, kan??

2008-06-08T17:53:00.000+08:00

Sakit kepala ku eh, buat GP ah. Headache. Migraine. Headache. whinewhine.

Headace. haha wtf.

Drama's on saturday the 14th. My nerves get all jangled up whenever I think about it. I hope our performance trumps others. Even if we don't win, let us be in the finals at least. And people understand our story, and they learn something from it; that's what our drama's all about really, teaching the audience something new. =)

Inda, aku mau manang. ~~Because I'm a glory hog.~~ Siapa jua inda mau manang?

-

2008-06-05T20:59:00.000+08:00

Aku takut ketulahan, pasal aku slalu mengucap urang =S
What if turun arah anak ku, apa yang ku ucapkan atu? =S
Aku inda mau anak ku bida =S
Aku inda mau anak ku sumbing either =S
Or ade loghat melaysye =S
Atau suka lepak di GIANT =S
Aku inda mau anak ku bangga taruh gambarnya cuci jamban pakai sleeveless arah blognya =S
Aku inda mau anak ku kuning badannya =S

Kan insaf ku eh :')
Inda ku mau ngucap urang lagi :')
Siapa suka ngumpat atu bedusa tu :')
Kana gigit sikunya by karma tu :')
Pastu badannya jadi kuning :')
And ia sumbing :')
Kalau ia ketawa, ia tutup tempat mulutnya yang sumbing atu :')
Pastu rambutnya jadi pipih :')
Insaf tah ni? :')

Nauzubillah eh. Ya Allah, lindungilah future anak ku dari tulah mamanya. Amin.

entah mo, i don't know where this post is headed. Giant kali. haha, aku cali =<

Etched.

2008-06-04T21:35:00.000+08:00

"Strange, isn't it? Each man's life touches so many other lives. When he isn't around he leaves an awful hole, doesn't he?" [Anonymous]

I agree.
Everyone makes a difference to someone's life. No one is unimportant.
Don't waste your life away by commiting the sinful act of suicide please =)
Someone cares.

I don't think I can live with the guilt of knowing that I could have done something. What do you think?

Infatuated

2008-05-28T20:14:00.000+08:00

Speak.
You voice it out,
They think you’re weak.
Hear.
I listen intently,
There’s nothing wrong with you, my dear.
Taste.
You say it hurts,
To have them think that you’re a waste.
Touch.
I grab your hand,
I hope you don’t think it’s too much.
Feel.
Your pulse quickening,
Is this for real?

Yell.
In my heart,
The feelings which I cannot tell.
Heed.
My heart’s orders,
Should I confess you’re the one I need?
Savour.
Your eyes on me,
What is the message they deliver?
Hold.
My words back,
For I am not bold.

Burst.
With ecstasy,
To hear you say the three words first.

I was falling,
And falling,
And falling,
Until I fell.

And you fell with me.

My entry for the school's poetry competition. (: If you're interested in knowing what the poem means, please highlight the space below:

It's about a girl who's afraid of admitting she's a lesbian. But the girl she likes is open about her lesbianity, and people view her as weak and a waste of space. In this poem, the first girl is debating whether she should confess to the second girl or not, but she's too scared of being an outcast in society. However, towards the end of the poem, the second girl confesses that she likes the first girl. 'Falling' here has two meanings: 1) falling for her, or falling in love 2) falling into a sinful world (in this case, lesbianity)

...vague, I know. Biartia biartia.

zat.

Step backwards.

2008-05-26T18:36:00.000+08:00

During maths:

Faj: Apakan ni ia ani? Buatnya exercises on Chain Rule, bukan jua chain rule ni!
Zat: Entah ia eh. Salah kali bah.
Faj: Lali kali ia sudah!
Zat: Kali, liat usul muanya ah.
Faj: Overdose BJ kali! *demos*

HAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHA

One of the many reasons to why she has been my bestfriend since primary 4 (:

Gila. Speaking of bestfriends, aku RINDUUUU brabis my old mates from PGGMB Sg. Akar! Sadly, I've lost contact with most of them. boo me.
My bestfriends/ close friends/ buddies then:

Afiq- Aku inda rapat sama kau now, although we go to the same school =(

Amanda- omg I MISS YOUUU!! I haven't heard from you for a very looooonnggg time. I sent you a birthday greeting masa atu, but you didn't reply. Maybe you changed your phone number? =/ I miss the crazy stuff we used to do. Those were good times =')

Fajrina- I don't miss you. Pasal I see you everyday xDD But I do miss the stuff kami 3 (you, Manda and I) used to do. Like ghosthunting. LOL. Bah, bila Faj? MS haunted tu ;P

Fiqah- You made me lose my innocence. HAHAHA xD Thanks, Fiq ;P Remember the club you formed? Yang ikut SVH ah, 'The Unicorn Club'- ciplak xD Tapi kami cool dulu, we had our own symbols instead of ordinary alphabets. Because having secrets equals being cool xP wtfff

Izzy- Dulu kau bestfriend ku, although kau bitchy brabis :p Masa ani kau bitchy masih, tapi in a good way =D LOL.

Muizz- my pokemon buddy! :D Have you migrated to Aussie? I remember kau dulu crazy for Gold Coast xD

Nazmi- bestpren ku yang panat and prasan kuat, slalu patahkan pensel untuk tunjukkan betapa kuatnya dia ;P mana engkau pergi? Aku lupa email mu. Nantitah aku message kau. lol

Nureen- Youuuu =D Our school dulu betikus. Ingat? I think you cried when the rat yang masuk our class kana bunuh. hahah xD We spent A LOT of time together dulu, with you being my classmate and your house only 2 houses away from mine. (Nureen is my niece btw ;P)

Raihan- My then-bestfriend and singing mate! =D suaramu lawa. And dulu kami slalu awal brabis datang ugama so we could hang out. Like, class started at 3.30, we were in school by 1.15 xD and kami suka help cikgu gigi xP

Syukrina- Gadis putih dan cantik. Also known as 'adi si Azka'! lol. Aku mau kerumah mu lagi. Pasal ada piano :D

Wajeeh- budak penyeluru! :D hahah. Kau in UK now, and I have no idea how to contact you ='(

Mana kamu semuaaaa?? What happened to us? Have we changed so much that we abandon our childhood friends? Can we still rekindle that long-lost flame? I hope so. Maybe we didnt make much effort in maintaining our friendship. I plead guilty =(

Purple for those who currently go to MS, red for those who don't (:
Sorry if I left out any names. Ramai bah kamu atu. lol

zati/zat/jats/peninsula/zat besi.

3

2008-05-24T17:15:00.000+08:00

And still counting.

You're a blessing. Thanks for putting a smile on this face every day =)
How do you do it? Maybe it's because of your smexyy eyes. Je t'aime beaucoup, mon amour. I know I'm not the best girlfriend ever, but I swear I love you more than anyone ever will.

Hamdillah<3 (:

You say 'ILY', I say 'ACK!'

Aku Cinta Kamu bah eh.

Nightmares are eating away my brain.

2008-05-23T10:20:00.000+08:00

I've been having nightmares almost every night. They all carry the same message.

What are you trying to tell meeee? ='<

Maybe it's fear. Maybe it's paranoia.Maybe it's guilt.
What are you trying to hide? More importantly, what am I trying to hide?

I want happy dreams please.

beha anak jingga, si tukang sumpit.

2008-05-18T19:56:00.000+08:00

Cousin ku cakap, ada orang cakap, yang orang Cina cakap, part bini-bini yang paling lawa is the inner arm/wrist. Kami inda tau kenapa. Tapi sekiranya banar, let's use it as something to prevent us from cutting ourselves =D

OIII ORANG EMO, LAWA TU WRIST MU ATU. LAGI LAWA DARI MUAMU YANG MERAH. JANGAN MAIN KARAT-KARAT BAH.

To bini-bini lah saja (':
Laki-laki inda payah (':
Mun kamu kan main karat-karat agatah (':
Nadabah, eksen ku (':
Suka jua setan ni pasal aku jahat (':
Karang kana bagi lovebite ku by setan (':

INDA KU MAU. Ako sumpit kao karang.